Why do people cheat? What are the different types of affair? There’s a lot of different facets to affairs, from the practical elements to the emotional. From keeping a reign on things, to making sure you feel in control and calm. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be enjoying your life properly, giving up on key elements, like a regular sex life, romantic excitement or the joy of a new relationship.
Here’s everything you need to know when it comes to marital affairs, from the why’s to the how’s.
Long-term relationships can quickly become stale and dysfunctional, and even if you’re fairly happy in your relationship, it can quickly become apparent that for you at least, there are important elements missing.
Maybe it’s an unsatisfying sex life, maybe you’re not feeling your needs are being met. Maybe you just need more attention. Whatever the reason, a marital affair can quickly seem like a fun solution.
There’s plenty of ways to enjoy the benefits of an affair without the guilt. Maybe ask your partner about swinging or inviting others to the bedroom, or limit your affair to the purely physical. There’s lots of ways to make sure it sticks purely to fun on the side.
Affairs can be a lot of steamy fun, and actually end up helping you preserve your relationship or appreciate your partner more in the long-term. Sometimes though, they’re just the best way of making sure you’re getting exactly what you need out of life.
We only live once, and maybe you married a little young, or rashly? Maybe you didn’t fully appreciate the gap in your libidos, or the impacts having a family might have. Whatever the case, it’s time to look at some other options, and start making sure your needs are being met.
Body but Not Soul – Pure lust affairs are definitely the most fun. Seeing that initial spark of attraction and lust, and pouncing on your hot co-worker can be a couple months of great sex and purely physical fun.
This can be ideal when it comes to having a naughty bit of fun on the side, without incurring too much stress or guilt, and making sure that it’s pretty easy to extricate yourself without too much fuss.
When it comes to this kind of affair communication is key, make sure you’re both on the same page and they’re not expecting you to suddenly leave your partner.
Other than that, just have fun! Relationships of a purely physical nature can be some of the best, providing some amazing sexual experiences and opportunities to explore new, exciting things with a gorgeous stranger.
Emotional Affairs – Emotional affairs are tricky ones. In some senses, they’re not even really affairs of any kind, but becoming close and spending a lot of time with the forbidden fruit can produce a deep emotional response very close to falling in love.
In a very real way, emotional affairs can be just as powerful despite the lack of sex. You might sniff and think that this isn’t really a true affair, but it can really be just as invigorating and affecting as a fully physical relationship. These are always going to be easier to pass off and cover up, but potentially much harder to move on from.
Becoming super hung-up on someone you can’t have can sometimes just add to the overall stress of the situation, no-one needs two trapping and unfulfilled relationships in their life!
Revenge Affair – The classic revenge affair is definitely one of the trickier ones to cope with, but can be just as fun. After a few years in a relationship with someone who doesn’t fully get you, or treat you right, resentment can quickly build up.
This feeling of being ignored and unaffirmed can be absolutely toxic to self-esteem and sexual drive, and feeling fully wanted and appreciated can be a wonderful thing, even if you have to go elsewhere to get it.
Just as long as you realise that this isn’t going to fix anything in your current relationship, and instead just repair your self-esteem and value in your own eyes a little. Understanding what you actually want from an affair is key to having a positive experience.
Not-a-Real-Affair Affair – These are characterised by unequal expectations of a relationship. Sometimes you spark up a relationship with someone, but it turns out one of you is already committed or married. You’re both convinced that it’s going to turn into a proper committed relationship, but in the meantime, you’re just holding off on breaking up with your partner, which is definitely going to happen soon.
Call it what it is, it’s an extramarital affair, and stop expecting it to blossom into a true committed relationship. The majority of the time, the whole appeal of an affair is that it’s an affair, which is why so few of them survive beyond being just that. These can be the most insidious and hurtful, with emotional honesty being key to enjoying an affair properly.
Keeping it in the Family – No we’re not talking about incest, pervert! Forbidden fruit, like the sexy, single sister-in-law can be an especially common affair that we see in married couples. After years of flirting and teasing, coupled with a lack of attention and emotional or physical neglect from your partner, can prove to be an irresistible combination.
Forbidden romances are always going to be extremely erotic to a lot of people. One of the number one searched porn terms of the last few years have been stepsister and stepmom, making it pretty clear how much everyone’s into the whole forbidden fruit thing.
Mind, Body and Soul – These are the big ones, the ones that help pull you out of a terrible relationship, or truly mess everything up. This is when you fall, hook, line and sinker for someone. Physical and emotional love, which is ideal when you’re capable of leaving your partner, or looking for a way out. It can be brutal if you or the other person is stuck fully in their relationship though.