One of the biggest worries when it comes to illicit affairs is the idea of getting caught by your partner, which is fair enough. It is a scary thought, but you shouldn’t let it worry you too much, because keeping things under wraps is actually a lot easier than you might have thought.
Sure, this looks like a pretty long list of things to remember, but in reality, they’re all basically just common sense. Bear them in mind, and you’ll avoid any unwanted suspicions altogether.
The first and easiest way to make sure you never get caught cheating is by simply picking the right person to have an affair with. Obviously, you don’t want to pick anyone too perfect, you’ve already decided you don’t really want to leave your partner, but you do need someone who knows how to play along, who understands the situation properly.
The last thing you want is a loose cannon, even if they’re a charming bad boy or total sex kitten. They might seem the most appealing option for an affair, but in reality, unpredictable, unreliable lovers are the last thing you want when it comes to keeping things under wraps.
One of the most obvious ways you can give yourself away is through having too many drastic, inexplicable routine changes. This is just going to shout out to anyone that knows you that you’re up to something. Combine that with being a little distant and inattentive, and someone close to you is going to figure out what’s going on.
Just make sure you fit the affair into your existing routine, and make sure you’re not taking too many overnight business trips, and you’ll struggle to go too far wrong.
The classic ‘lipstick on the collar’ is a classic for a reason. Underwear left behind, hints of perfume, these are all easy, obvious ways you can get caught, and it doesn’t take more than a quick scan in a mirror or around the room to make sure that everything’s shipshape.
This is an especially embarrassing way to get caught so make sure you check yourself over, and it shouldn’t be too hard to avoid.
At the end of the day, the most important thing when it comes to avoiding being caught, or any additional hassle or lying, is simply putting the effort in to keep things under wraps. Cover things up properly, and just go the distance. Nobody said affairs are easy, they’re exciting, erotic and intense, but rarely easy.
If your affair does blow up, it’s going to be much easier to move away from the life-destroying explosion if they don’t know much at all about you. For super casual nights of fun, they barely even need to know your first name.
It might seem intense, holding back information about yourself, but you don’t want them getting in contact at inopportune times, or causing problems in other ways. Keep things private, and only tell them what they need to know. You’re not building a relationship here, just some lusty, mysterious fun.
Another key point on which plenty of would-be great lovers get caught is through hanging out in their usual spaces. You can’t take a secret lover to places you usually frequent, where there might be people who know you.
Come on people, this is pretty obvious. Go the extra mile, and head out somewhere distant. That’ll only add to the fun and excitement anyway!
Check Your Phone
Phones are another way plenty of people find themselves getting caught, and it doesn’t have to be like that. It’s very easy to delete messages, phone calls and photos from a phone, clearing it up properly. Update your phone security with a new pass (being a little suspect is better than being outright discovered), delete old messages, calls and photos, and make sure you empty that pesky ‘deleted photos’ file too!
That means using a condom! Seriously, it’s really going to ruin everyone’s day if you end up spreading an STD to your partner, or you or your lover end up pregnant. That’s going to create some major loose ends that end up in you being discovered sharpish. Just wear a condom, or insist on them wearing a condom.
Don’t walk out of the room to take phone calls, don’t be shifty while texting on your phone, and just try to relax and act normal. Once you get your spouse’s suspicion’s raised, it’s going to make everything else much harder, so act natural.
This can seem really hard in the moment, but it’s just a case of forcing yourself to breathe and relax, and not panic or be too obvious.
You absolutely don’t want to be leaving a paper trail everywhere you go. Hotels, restaurants, gifts, do not pay on credit or debit card, especially if your statements are posted to your home, or you have a shared account.
Many banks offer paperless accounts now, which can make things a bit easier, but if you share an account, make sure you stick to cash. This is how they caught Capone, so don’t think you’re above it.
Lastly, there’s one key thing you need to remember. This is just an affair. Don’t fall too deep for them, because if you start catching serious feelings, it could make a real mess of the whole situation. Keep things light, casual and fun, and keep the personal information to a minimum.
Follow all of those and it actually becomes pretty hard to get caught, go have some fun.