For the Guys – How to Win at Online Adult Dating

Everyone’s dating online nowadays. Whether you’re after casual one night stands, or looking for something long term, you need a strategy when it comes to putting together your profile. Here’s our guide to winning at online dating.

Adult Dating – Perfect the Profile

Photos are Hugely Important

 There’s no getting around it. Humans are shallow, shallow, filthy creatures, and we like looking at pretty things. That means if you’re a good-looking guy, you’re going to mop up in the online adult dating field. Then you’ve just got that traditional problem of being good-looking; underdeveloped personality, AKA dullest man alive syndrome.

If you’re a powerfully average looking fellow, it’s pretty straightforward how you go about succeeding. Here are the basic groundings for picking the perfect set of three or four profile pictures

• Always smile. Smiling is good. People like people who smile. We get it, you’re going for that sexy, smouldering thing. It doesn’t work unless you’re Brad Pitt, circa 1993. Are you Brad Pitt, circa 1993?
• Dress sharp. It’s not rocket science. Wear clothes that are clean which fit you, and vaguely conform to current fashion, if you’ve got no idea at all. Suits are always going to go down well too. Just make sure it fits you well
• Have a big friend group. It shows you’re not a scary loner weirdo, who lures women to his lair via online dating apps. Having a social life and social commitments is attractive
• Have female friends in your group shots. This stops you looking like a lad. No one wants to date a lad. They say things like ‘banter’ and shout about Nando’s for no apparent reason
• You have to show a clear shot of your face. There’s no getting around this. But if you’re smiling, well-dressed and surrounded by male and female friends, prospective partners are going to be less concerned by your looks, and more intrigued by you as a person

Seems pretty straightforward, right? Scrolling through dating apps, apparently not. Here are the things you absolutely have to avoid.

• Shirtless photos, tensing your non-existent pecs. No one is enticed by that, dude. Come on, that’s not going to get you anywhere
• Fishing shots. Photos of blokes holding large, dead fish litter dating apps. Don’t be like them
• Big unclear group photos. What’s the point if they can’t tell who you are? Have a social picture, but make sure it’s after photos clarifying who you are
• Don’t overdo the “I’ve got pets things” cutesy thing. The logic there is ”all girls love cute things, right?”. Don’t be so obvious

 Write a Decent Bio

 You don’t really have to put too much effort in here. No laundry lists of facts and opinions. Don’t put down more than one or two funny, intriguing sentences. The goal here is to be charismatic, remember. Charisma can be boiled down to humour and mystery, so pouring out a dry pile of facts and opinions kills both of those.

 Don’t try and be cute either. No ‘animal lover’ in your bio or anything like that. It’s transparent and obvious, and slightly patronising. Plus you don’t want girls to think you’re adorable, anyway, even if they do fall for it. Come on.

Don’t Be Creepy

When it comes to messaging girls, you’ve got to bear a couple of things in mind. Don’t be creepy, and don’t be boring. That’s about it. You’re one of many guys vying for her attention, so if you’re the guy who is slightly funny, original, with a solid profile, and zero overtones of creepiness, you’re going to get somewhere.

What you want to do is ask her out for a drink or a date as quickly as possible. People don’t spend hours messing around on dating apps, and you’ve got to remember you’re one of several guys messaging her right now. Be the guy who’s biting the bullet and actually asking her out, just make sure you’ve built up enough good feeling and interest first.

 Keep At It

 Unfortunately, meeting someone online doesn’t happen overnight. You absolutely need to keep at it for a couple of weeks, at least. Sure, you might meet someone in your first seven seconds of digital singledom, but it might take you two weeks. Don’t get disheartened and give up.

If you’re not getting much back, honestly, chances are, you made a mess of something. Whether it’s your bio, photo choices, or the way you’re talking, re-evaluate and change your tactics. You’ll get there.