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While possibly the oldest non-theological question still bothering specifically MANkind, the size question, now coloured with concepts of masculinity and healthy self-image, is still looming large for a lot of guys. Just from a quick glance around, interestingly, size seems to matter a hell of a lot more to neurotic, self-conscious, heterosexual men than to women.

With porn becoming way more accessible, socially acceptable, and generally more normalised over the last few years, a generation of men, like myself, now in their early twenties, went through adolescence exploring the vast range of free pornography available online, predominantly featuring cartoonishly overlarge guys playing the lead.

With the average American erect penis measuring just 5.6 inches, it’s not really hard to see why so many guys might carry insecurities regarding their size. More recently amateur porn, generally featuring realistically proportioned guys and girls, has started to dominate the marketplace, which might lead to a healthier self-image for current adolescents.

It’s the Motion of the Ocean, Not the Size of the Waves

A lot of women have opined online that it’s far worse to be incompetent and huge, than tiny and skilled. A lot of bigger guys appear to believe that an oversized tool is all they need and become arrogant and lazy in bed. It’s all about skills. Rhythm, confidence, oral sex and attraction are all just, if not more so, important as being well endowed.

Too Big Ain’t Fun Either

I’ve read accounts online of women who’ve never come across too small, but who have had to deal with too big. Too big becomes an issue unto itself for a variety of reasons including requiring planning and premeditation, which can spoil the mood, to avoid hurting the woman, it can lead to arrogance and laziness, which is off-putting and a lot of women are intimidated and uneasy around bigger guys.

Other Things Matter More

Women rate cleanliness, smell and appearance way above many other features. This means do a bit of ‘manscaping’, shower before dates and wear some aftershave. Perhaps start going running, and lose a bit of weight. Being a bit more trim can make you look a lot bigger. It’s not all about size, not even nearly.

Worried you’re simply not going to be able to perform as well as she expects in bed? It’s just not that much about penis size, and if you’re looking to get your confidence from your penis alone, you’re going to fail even if you’re 9 inches flaccid.

Sure, depth can be an extremely pleasurable element to some women, but for the most part, women find huge penises painful. Learn to go down better on women, learn to have a laugh instead of feeling terrified and insecure. Learn to be a sexy dominant, or simply learn some basic tricks to get better at sex. For instance, put a pillow under her hips while in missionary, you’ll be able to go deeper. Having a smaller penis means other things, like anal and blowjobs, will be much easier for her.

And for god’s sake, don’t be complaining about being too small and incapable of properly pleasuring a woman if you’re unfit. Your problem is that you’re running out of breath and can’t support yourself, that’s in your power, so sort it out.

Comforting Statues

In ancient times, large penises have been associated with foolishness, barbarism, and were considered ugly. That’s why you see all these classical Greek and Roman statues, of the ideally proportioned man, with average sized junk.

The modern obsession probably has its origins in porn’s misrepresentation of the male body, and inherent male competitiveness. The recurring theme that I keep coming across, is that men are infinitely more concerned with size than women are.

I’ve rarely read an account of a woman seeing a man’s below average penis and darting for the door, and if the size of your penis is really a factor in her pursuing a relationship with you, you know she simply isn’t that into you, and that’s her problem, not yours.

The fact is, you can find whatever answer you’re looking for online. If you want women to not care, that article is out there, if you want it to be hugely important, that articles also there. You can always draw your own conclusions and mislead yourself online, but all you can really draw upon is your own experiences. If you feel like you’re disappointing girls, work on your technique, or lose some weight. Don’t just worry about what women think, work on it and build confidence. 

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