Navigating The Dating Scene
October 23, 2009
Dating While Unemployed
October 31, 2009
Fear of rejection may be the one thing that’s coming between you and successful adult dating. It’s easy to smell fear from a mile away – and since your date is just probably an arm’s length from you, he or she will get turned off by the dating anxiety that is all over your face. Keep in mind that fear can make you feel uneasy and make you look very unattractive. If you want to avert this dating disaster, here are some tips.
First, realize that you are not alone. Fear of rejection is common in both the serious and the casual dating scene. Too many dates have failed because one or both parties were simply frightened of getting rejected, thus impeding open communication. Interestingly, even a no-strings encounter can cause this debilitating fear. This fear (coupled with nervousness) can keep you from being your best self in front of your date. You get so uptight that you stutter whenever you speak and you don’t get to express exactly what you feel. You are not the ONLY nervous dater, though, so be easy on yourself. Acknowledge that your date might actually be feeling a little tense, too, and you will begin to relax.
Keep this mind: It’s okay to want to be liked. Everyone wants to come across as attractive and popular. And it’s only normal to feel inadequate at times especially when you’re in the company of someone you really like, or even someone you’ve met through internet dating and who you’re meeting in person for the first time. There has to be something awfully wrong with you if you don’t even feel the least bit uneasy about what your date might think of you. So chill – you’re not abnormal.
Once you’ve cut yourself some slack, it’s time to go past this fear and start enjoying your adult dating exploits. You have to boost your confidence in order to be more interesting to your date. Confidence allows you to smile and take jokes in stride. It can make you even more approachable to your adult contacts because you look more relaxed and in your element.
Confidence can help you deal with your fear of dating. This will not get you the person you’ve been dreaming about. And no one will like you if you always clam up on them. You have to start liking yourself to get other people to like you. Fear in dating is almost always reflective of your perception of yourself. If you feel insufficient in terms of skills and looks, this will only feed your fear of rejection, which will keep you from successfully interacting with your adult contacts. So smile – believe that you’re the great person you are. Have fun on your next date and conquer your fears.
