First dates can be super stressful, it’s like an interview after all, except instead of a potential job, what you have is a chance to get laid or meet someone really special, and instead of being judged on your career, you’re instead judged on much more personal factors, like looks, personality and overall attraction.
There’s no doubt, that’s a pretty intense combination, but getting good at dating and going on dates isn’t actually that hard. All it takes is learning to accept yourself, and stopping trying to be something you’re not. Once you become unapologetically you, dating becomes much easier.
It all really just comes down to confidence and comfort. If you’re confident and comfortable, that’s going to be sending out a huge amount of positive signals about you as a person. The next step up from that is making the other person more comfortable and confident, just through personality and presence. If you can nail that, you’ll do fine dating.
All that being said, there are several real faux pas that everyone should strive to avoid on that important first date. Here’s five of them.
Come on, people, this really should be obvious. If you spend the whole date chatting about your ex, you’re going to communicate several hugely damaging things to your date, the worst of which simply being that you’re not over your ex. Your ex is irrelevant, you’re moving on, you’re dating new attractive people.
Playing on your phone is rude in basically every social setting, but while on a date it’s a serious faux pas. You’re basically communicating that they’re boring you, and they’re definitely not going to want to go back to your place if they think you’re ignorant. No, you’re not being aloof and hard to get, you’re being rude. Stop it.
A solid rule of thumb when it comes to drinking on a date is to simply keep up with each other. You don’t want to be way drunker than them, because you’ll become boring, annoying and childlike, and they’ll end up having to take care of you. No one wants that. Pace yourself, it’s not a race to get drunk. That won’t calm your nerves, it’ll just ruin the evening.
So don’t get ahead of yourself! You don’t want to seem too enthusiastic, too all-in. You want a chilled evening of getting to know each other, with no real pressure to take it any further if you’re not feeling it. The worst thing that you can be is desperate, so just make sure you manage your expectations.
This is a relaxed and intimate first date, not your wedding day. Leave the fancy dress at home, go easy on the cologne and stop worrying. Just make sure you look pleasant, comfortable and clean, maybe a little nice perfume, and leave it at that.